I have to write this somewhere. 

Today and tonight was so frickin amazing. My shoulders are tense, and my arms a bit sore, and my back aches. These past two days I’ve rehearsed music for 14 hours total. We played a concert tonight. 

First of all, I couldn’t of asked for a better stand partner. She was AMAZING. She kind of reminded me of a girl version of Hank, and could definitely be a nerdfighter. She’s so spontaneous and uncaring and everything that I’ve ever wanted to be. She was a good stand partner too, she turned the pages right and was more than willing to play the bottom notes and leave the higher, prettier ones to me. 
After it was all over she came up to m and told me that she hopes I have a good life, and that she was proud of me, and that she really enjoyed playing with me. And that she’d probably never see me again. And she’s right, I probably wont. I’ll miss her. 

After we were done playing it was all I could do to not cry, Jezamyn didn’t help that any; her and her being so awesome. She left before I could say anything back to her.

And then there I was sitting in the audience, listening to the band play this really cool song. It’s called Voodoo and it’s played with all of the lights off. It’s meant to freak people out, and it was really cool. It involved flashing lights and loud noises and, I loved it. Towards the end of the piece, you could feel everything building up, and maybe i’m just crazy, but it was all I could take. I could feel it, and something inside of me was uneasy. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t startled. All I wanted to do was cry. It made me want to cry and i don’t understand the feeling, but it was weird. It was intense. Somehow, I enjoyed the feeling of uneasiness, even though I still don’t understand it.

Ms Kerry was A-MAZING. And I got a hug from her and she, of course, offered me some words of advice, in our short thankyou/goodbye/you’reawesome talk.

She told me to never give up on the viola, ever. 
She’s a violist, like me, so of course she’d say that.  She loves it just as much as I do (probably more, she made it her life) and when your’e passionate about something you want to share it with other people. 
And I promised her that I wouldn’t give up, that I wouldn’t put it down, that I”d keep playing for the rest of my life.
And I will.

This is my last year playing in the North East Regional Orchestra. 
This is the last year that i’ll spend 2 days of chaos for 20 minutes of stage time.
This is the last year that I’ll sit, as a student, and listen to a clinician tell me where to improve, how to improve, and why I should do it.
This is the last year that I’ll do this.

And it saddens me. I cried nearly all of the way home.

Music is something that means so much to me! And I don’t want this to be the last.

Sure, I can play music for the rest of my life, but this is the last time I’ll do this.

But I’m gonna keep to what I promised Ms Kerry. Always.
And I’ll remember the time I spent learning from her the past two days for the rest of my life.